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「龙腾网」求助别人是怎么协助我对立郁闷的?

作者:心语 2021-08-21 18:50:01

「龙腾网」求助他人是如何帮助我对抗抑郁的?

正文翻译

As told to Lisa Harvey for BBC Three, by Prasanna Sellathurai

本文根据BBC三台节目中嘉宾对丽莎·哈维所述而作,由普拉萨娜·塞拉苏雷执笔。

I first noticed I was having mental health problems aged 11. I have a large Sri Lankan family, which means you get to go to lots of weddings, but it also means you go to lots of funerals. So, from a young age, I had a clear sense of death – and a weird sense of what life was, too.

我第一次注意到自己有心理健康问题是在11岁的时候。我出生于一个斯里兰卡大家庭,这意味着你要参加很多婚礼,但同时也意味着你要参加很多葬礼。所以,从很小的时候起,我就对死亡有了清晰的认识,对生命也有了一种奇怪的认识。

My school was very academically focused and I didn’t really have anything outside of that. I failed my 11+ exams but passed my 13+ to go to a grammar school and, like a lot of the other kids, I did 14 GCSE’s and 6 A-levels. It was pressured, and that was normal, but these pressure points were critical for my mental health.

我的学校非常注重学术,所以除此之外我没有参加别的课程。我没有通过11+的考试,但通过了13+的考试,所以我后来去了一所语法学校。像其他很多的孩子一样,我获得了14个普通中等教育证书和6 A等级资格证。这很有压力,不过有压力很正常,但关键是这些压力点对我的心理健康至关重要。

「龙腾网」求助别人是怎么协助我对立郁闷的?

「龙腾网」求助别人是怎么协助我对立郁闷的?

「龙腾网」求助别人是怎么协助我对立郁闷的?

Then, when I went to university to study physics, everything came to a head. At uni, you gain independence and spend that first year trying to figure out your new family and new life, when you’ve been so used to your home, family and school life. For me, that invited unresolved emotional issues to bubble to the surface. It was like someone had cranked up the pressure in my body – and I lost it.

后来,我上了大学,我主修的是物理学,到那时候,事事都到了紧要关头。大学之前的你已经习惯了你的家庭、家人和学校生活,而进入大学之后,你会慢慢脱离自己的家庭,获得独立,而且在大学第一年里你就得开始试图策划你的新家庭和新生活。对我来说,这种状况让我未解决的情感问题浮出了水面。那种感觉就像有人给我的身体增加了压力,让我失去了控制一样。

「龙腾网」求助别人是怎么协助我对立郁闷的?

「龙腾网」求助别人是怎么协助我对立郁闷的?

I’d been prescribed anti-depressants but that didn’t feel sustainable for me so I came off them during my year out. In the end, two things really worked for me. The first was keeping journals. The NHS mental health specialist suggested I write down and tabulate my thoughts. So I started writing and illustrating different aspects of my day. I still fill them in today – they’re colourful and feel like slices of my brain. When I write in them, the anxiety becomes smaller because I’m slowing my thought process down and that helps control the anxiety and depression. I also ‘see’ patterns, such as how little I ate or slept that day, or other things that might explain the way I’m feeling.

我之前一直在吃医生给我开的一些抗抑郁药,但那感觉对我来说是不可持续的,所以我在那休学的一年也把药也戒掉了。最后,有两件事对我起了作用。第一个是写日记。英国国民健康服务的心理健康专家建议我把自己的想法写下来,做成表格。所以我就开始写作,并在日记中阐述我一天的不同方面的生活。直到今天我还在记录日记,它们看起来五颜六色,感觉就像我大脑的切片一样。当我写下它们的时候,我的焦虑会变得更小,因为我放慢了思考的速度,这有助于控制焦虑和抑郁。通过日记表格,我还发现了一些规律,比如我那天吃多少、睡多少,或者其他可能解释我的感觉的事情因素。

「龙腾网」求助别人是怎么协助我对立郁闷的?

The other thing that was good at helping me overcome my mental health problems was properly opening up about how I felt. Just before I went back to re-take my second year, I think I’d exasperated a couple of my friends and I remember feeling angry and disappointed at myself. I felt people knew I was depressed, but no one would talk about it – plus I was hiding from it. I felt so trapped by my depressive prison that I ended up screaming at the internet at 2am, via a Facebook post.

另一件能帮助我克服心理健康问题的事情是合理地表达出我的感受。就在我重新上大二之前,我觉得我激怒了我的几个朋友,我记得那时候我对自己感到及其愤怒和失望。我觉得所有人都知道我得了抑郁症,但没有人愿意谈论这件事,而且我也一直在逃避这件事。我感觉自己被囚禁在了一个压抑的监狱里。终于在某一天的凌晨2点,我在脸书上发帖,在互联网上尖叫,疯狂地表达我的感受。

I wrote along the lines of: “Hello, I don’t write Facebook statuses but I just wanted to say I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts. It’s a real struggle.” I added we should be talking more openly about it, and I gave lixs to mental health charities. I also said I don’t think it’s right that I should be defined like this, before adding a photo someone had taken of me where I looked and felt happy. Then I closed my laptop – and didn’t look at it for about a day.

我这样写道:“你好,我不写脸书状态,但我只想说,我一直有自杀的念头,也一直在与这种念头做斗争。这是一场真正的斗争。” 我补充说,我们应该更公开地讨论这个问题,我还提供了心理健康慈善机构的链接。我还展示了一张别人拍的我的照片,在照片里,那是一个真心快乐的我。在照片下面我附上一句话说,我不认为自己应该被这样定义。发完之后我就关上了笔记本电脑,在之后的一天我都没有打开过电脑。

When I did, there were about 200 likes. But far more meaningful than that, were the comments I received. One girl I’d met in passing had sent me an essay about how incredible the post was; another guy sent me a message – I think he was in a bar at the time – saying how much he loved me. I also got a lot of messages from people saying they’d gone through similar things and were inspired by reading my post. I wrote every message, word for word, down in my journals – even the emojis. I was deeply moved because it was an acknowledgement of support, as opposed to feeling paranoid about what people were thinking about me. It’s a bit of an odd form of therapy doing something like that, but it helped.

后来当我重新登录自己的脸书账号的时候,我发现自己的动态收到了大概有200个赞。但更有意义的是,我还收到了一些评论。我浏览评论的时候看到一个女孩发给我的一篇小感言,她说我的这条动态非常棒; 还有一个可能正在酒吧玩儿的家伙给我发了一条信息说他有多欣赏我。我同时也收到了很多人的信息,他们说他们也经历过类似的事情,并从我的帖子中得到了启发。我逐字逐句地把每条评论和留言都写在了我的日记里,甚至包括表情符号。我深受感动,这是对别人对我的支持的感谢,而且我并没有对别人对我的看法而感到偏执。这是一种有点奇怪的治疗方式,但它很有帮助。

Today, I’m in my third year and I’ve kept that honesty going. I did a university podcast interview about mental health and made a short film about anxiety. I still struggle with my mental health – but I don’t give up now. Before, it was easy to let my mind fall down a well. Now, I’m gripping to the sides and climbing up. My mum and dad have also come a long way in learning about anxiety and depression with me. Fighting it is an active process, but I’m more open now. I talk about it with first year students who live around me all the time. At first, I was more comfortable talking to my friends who were girls. But I’ve had one-on-one chats with guys over a cup of tea where they tell me the truth, empathise or understand the struggle.

今天是我工作的第三个年头了,这么久以来,我一直保持着这种诚实。我做了一个关于心理健康的大学播客采访,并制作了一个关于焦虑的短片。我仍然在和我的心理健康作斗争,但我现在还没有放弃。以前,我很容易让我的思想掉进陷阱里不出来。而现在,我会紧紧抓住侧壁往上爬。我的父母在学习焦虑和抑郁方面也陪着我走了很长一段路。对抗抑郁是一个积极的过程,但我现在更开放了。我经常和住在我周围的一年级学生谈论这个问题。一开始,我觉得和我的女孩朋友聊天会更自在。但是我也曾经和一些男人在一起喝茶的时候进行一对一的聊天,他们会坦诚地告诉他们对我的感觉,他们表示同情或者理解我的挣扎。

My advice to anyone feeling like I did at school Find ways to express yourself – I turned to art and music – and do have an actual conversation about it. Between the ages of 11 and 14, I wouldn’t tell anyone but I also didn’t know it was a thing to be telling people about. Now I see that would have been so helpful. It took me a few years to realise but that Facebook post was me admitting, and taking control of, the thing I was hiding from. Even if that means telling just one person, it can help.

关于给和我类似经历的人的建议 我的建议是找到表达自己的方式,并就此展开一场真正的对话,就像我转向了艺术和音乐一样。在11岁到14岁的时候,我不会对任何人表达我的抑郁情绪,而且那时候我也不知道这是一件可以告诉别人的事情。不过现在我明白了,坦然地告诉别人反而会很有帮助。我花了几年的时间才意识到这一点,脸书上的帖子就是我在承认自己抑郁症并控制自己勇敢面对一直在逃避的事情的证明。即使你只告诉一个人,那也会有帮助。

Some people ask me questions about my mental health and say they don’t want to see a GP because they don’t want to waste a doctor’s time: they don’t think their problems are as ‘bad’ as people who have depression. I tell them they’re suffering just as much as me, or have the symptoms of someone who is anxious. It’s why conversations are so important: they give clarity. How we experience being mentally unwell is a bit of a spectrum, which makes it difficult to understand how someone is actually feeling. But being unwell and mentally unwell should be the same thing.

一些人会问我关于我的心理健康的问题,他们说他们不想去看全科医生,因为他们不想浪费医生的时间,因为他们不认为他们的问题像抑郁症患者那样“糟糕”。 我会告诉他们,抑郁症患者和我一样痛苦,或者有焦虑的症状。这就是对话如此重要的原因,交流能让人变得清晰。我们精神不健康的经历有点像一个光谱一样难以捉摸,即让我们很难理解一个人的真实感受。但身体不适和精神不适是一样的。

The more I talk about mental health, even though it’s a unique experience for all of us, the more I see that depression is an illness that is often hidden – and you have to delve into it, and look after it, to feel better.

尽管这对我们所有人来说都是一种独特的经历,但是我越是谈论心理健康,我就越发现抑郁症是一种经常被隐藏起来的疾病。实际上,你必须深入研究它,关注它才能让自己感觉更好。

What is depression

什么是抑郁症?

Depression is a low mood that lasts for a long time, and affects your everyday life.

抑郁症是一种持续很长时间的情绪低落,这种症状会影响你的日常生活。

In its mildest form, depression can mean just being in low spirits. It doesn’t stop you leading your normal life but makes everything harder to do and seem less worthwhile. At its most severe, depression can be life-threatening because it can make you feel suicidal.

在最温和的情况下,抑郁可能仅仅意味着情绪低落。它不会阻止你过正常的生活,但会让所有的事情都变得更难做,所有事情也会让你觉得不那么有价值。最严重的时候,抑郁症会危及生命,因为它会让你有自杀的感觉。

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